Mon, 09 Jul 2007 04:15:15 GMT

eh, we were soppose to do something today but he fell asleep. played video games and slept, while i watched tv. i guess we're in the same old routine again. sometimes i like it but other times i really hate it. i like doing stuff together. sometimes how he is makes me wonder if he doesnt like going in public with me. i mean, im sure thats not true but it still crosses my mind. i just really hope that we dont fall into the same monotone cycle as before. other than that everything seems well. he wants to join the army. i just hope he doesnt get hurt. i really dont. im really worried about that. i hope if he decides to join that's really what he wants to do and it makes him happy. if he does join i hope we can become something more. if not, i hope that he can make me a promise. i just really want to be with him. i have this feeling that he's something more, something more than just a regular boyfriend. yesterday we drove to one of the first spots we went when we first hung out. i really wanted to tell him that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. that i want to be with him everyday. but i decided not to because i just wasnt getting the same vibe from him. i know he's mentioned marriage before. maybe im just getting too far ahead of myself. i mean, i'm young and i still have college to finish. but then again, i've always wanted to get married and started young. hopefully i dont blow it for myself.

i love him, i really do.

jeshekah